Reflections. Of. Light.

David gave me a challenge a few months ago, to bring home funny stories from work. Silly things kids say, funny things they do. It’s one part of my job that brings joy. I must pay attention to the small ways these children shine. Their innocence brings hope.

This world is full of darkness. It manifests in so many ways. With each new year I have seen more heartbreak, pain, confusion; we live in a world in sin, evil. I know people who would say that no, each person decides his or her own right or wrong. I can’t agree with that. Confusion comes when I see children who have been abandoned by the people they call mom and dad. It doesn’t make sense. These are blameless people. Little people. Too small and young to care for themselves, yet they do, in so many ways. What do I say to a kid who is biting and hitting just to get some kind of attention, some sort of physical touch, I know it’s because they don’t get it from home. I search for the good, the joy each day. God did create this place, intended it for good, and then we have to mess it up every day. This week, a student says in a whisper, like he’s telling me a secret, “Mrs. Rohde.. my shoes are getting tight! ..I think I’m growing big!” The last thing I want for him is to grow big! Stay young little one!! Enjoy that you can play on the playground, get dirty and not care, read stories for the first time, be enchanted by the growth of an insect, fall down and get up without a scratch or a care. It only lasts so long. Then we fall down, walk away with scars, pain, maybe don’t get well, ever. Growing hurts though. Our shoes get too tight, we get uncomfortable in what we walk around in every day. It doesn’t fit anymore, so it’s time for something new.

I used to think that I had a plan. That I knew what life would hold for me. No longer. There’s this constant battle I have with myself, of giving up my life to God and then trying to take it back. How stubborn of me. Knowing that giving it up releases the burden of control that pushes down my shoulders. Yet, I’m still holding on. I pray for provision, direction, that God would chose for us. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20. Knowing that when I am weak, when I let go, is when God’s spirit works within me. Light does shine in the darkness. When I do catch a glimpse, it is a gift from God.

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